Days 11-14: Memories of Insecurity

I’ve been reflecting on the 4th spiritual benefit that I mentioned here. It is unfathomable how tightly and intricately our bodies and spirits are stitched together. During my meditation time I was reminded of my senior year of high school.

Story Time: I Almost Didn’t Graduate From High School

It was April 2013. My senior year was almost over, and I had no idea if I was going to graduate. In two of my classes, I had low C’s. I knew that I didn’t have enough time to bring those two grades up, and I also knew that there was a chance that I would be the first person in my immediate family to NOT graduate from high school on time if I flunked my finals for those classes.

Three weeks before my final exams, I broke out in hives ALL OVER my body! The doctor asked me if I was stressed about something, and I said, “Yes…Graduating.”

I Was A Straight “A” Student

Before I reveal whether or not I walked the stage and received my diploma that year, I want to tell you where my bad study habits came from.

All throughout elementary school, I was a straight “A” student. I was also considered to be one of the “good kids” that teachers don’t really have to worry about. Some of my elementary school buddies called me the teacher’s pet, and at the time, I strongly disliked being called that. However, there was one thing I disliked more than being called the teacher’s pet, and that was…awards assemblies!

I was one of those students who was always on honor roll and the principal’s honor roll. This meant that at the end of every school year, I would have to stand up and walk in front of, what seemed to be hundreds of people, to receive recognition for my “hard work.” I DREADED those moments.

Fast forward to my 6th grade year, when I was extremely insecure and self-conscious, (read: About Me) I purposefully stopped doing my homework and studying so that I could get bad grades and avoid walking in front of all of my school chums. I didn’t want to be the teacher’s pet anymore, and I certainly did not want to be labeled a nerd!

So from that point on, I became a B, C, D student. It was difficult at first to avoid turning in assignments, but as time went on, unfortunately it became easy to slack. When high school rolled around, although I wanted to, it was difficult for me to break those bad study habits that I purposefully inflicted on myself. Needless to say, my grades were horrible all four years of high school.

Did I Graduate With My Class?

So did I graduate with my class? Yes! But I flunked the finals in those two classes that I was worried about, BARELY passing them with D’s, and I graduated high school with an embarrassingly low GPA.

Now looking back, I’m thinking to myself, “What a dummy.” At the same time though, I realize that what I was feeling internally, or in my spirit, had a tremendous impact on me physically, hence breaking out in hives because of all of the stress!

This one out of many examples that I could think of from my personal life of how interconnected our bodies and spirits are. I know you can think of some of your own, and I’m certain that more examples in my own life will surface as I continue this fast. When they surface, I’ll let you know!

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