- Too Much Time On Social Media
- Where Anxiety Comes From
- Story Time: “Unless you’re going to be a nun, it is not a proper career for you.”
- What do you want to study in college?
- Disagreement at lunch
- My desire to study Theology came back
- My parent’s advice
- What is the will of God?
Too Much Time On Social Media
This week, I have spent more time on social media than I usually do. I started feeling anxious and I know that this is partly due to my social media use. I continue to follow through with my meditation every day, but I have been feeling more restless.
I am finding it more difficult to focus on meditating and am having strong urges to check my social media accounts often. I’ve made several resolutions to spend less time on social media but have failed over and over again this week.
Where Anxiety Comes From
“Anxiety arises from an unregulated desire to be delivered from any pressing evil, or to obtain some hoped-for good.”St. francis of Assissi
I think this quote can be applied to every aspect of life; finances, education, raising children, romance, addictions, and anything else in our lives that can cause anxiety.
Story Time: “Unless you’re going to be a nun, it is not a proper career for you.”
I was 15 years old and certain that I wanted to study Theology as a major, or so I thought. My parents wanted to take a couple of our priest friends to lunch. I happened to be with my parents, so I tagged along. The food was good and the conversation delightful…Until…
What do you want to study in college?
One of the priests asked me, “What do you want to study in college?” I said, “I want to study Theology.” He looked at me and said, “Are you going into the religious life?” I replied, “No.” Then he asked, “Then why do you want to study Theology? Theology is good for seminarians, or women who want to become nuns. You should pick a more practical path of study that will help you earn a living.”
Disagreement at lunch
We went back and forth in disagreement (respectfully of course). Needless to say, I was frustrated for the rest of the lunch. When lunch was over, my dad went back to work, and my mom and I went home. On our drive home, I was telling my mom about how frustrated I was during the conversation.
His questions and reasonings for avoiding pursuing Theology as a major kept replaying in my mind. Unfortunately, despite my frustration, I allowed the conversation at lunch to sway me from my initial convictions to pursue Theology as my major.
For the next 6 years, I tried to figure out which path of study God wanted me to take. I considered being an elementary school teacher, counselor, social worker, and music major. I even thought of dropping out of the community college I was attending in order to become a famous YouTuber. I’m so glad my parents talked me out of that one! Nonetheless, I kept trying to figure out which career would utilize my love for writing, singing, and my desire to provide counsel and coaching for people, both spiritually and physically.
My desire to study Theology came back
To make a long story short, thoughts of studying Theology came back stronger than ever once I started pursuing my Bachelor’s Degree in Communications two years ago. The conversation I had with one of our priest friends came back to mind.
I started thinking, “How am I going to make money with a Theology degree? Would I even be able to get a job? Is this a practical career path?” In other words, I was thinking too far ahead, and the feeling of anxiety was ignited within me. I was reminded of when I broke out in hives in high school because of anxiety. So I forced myself to remember the advice that my parents and little brother would always give.
My Parent’s Advice
My parents often said to me and my siblings,
“Stay close to God and He will guide you in everything you do. Trust that He has your best interest at heart and will order your steps. Please God…not people.”
By the time I reached my last year as an undergraduate student, I knew that pursuing Theology as a major was the direction I needed to take. Where is it going to lead? I don’t know, and I’m tired of trying to figure it out.
Something that my little brother who passed away in 2016 loved to say was:
The journey is the destination.
What is the Will of God?
Once a moment is passed, it’s passed forever and you can never get it back. In the past, I would overthink and often wondered obsessively, “What is the Will of God for my life?” I would literally sit and try to figure it out.
As time went on, I realized that the Will of God is simple, and that is…to do good every moment I’m alive. To be respectful, patient, kind, compassionate, giving, forgiving, loving, and truthful to whomever is in my presence in each moment. That’s it!
“Anxiety arises from an unregulated desire to be delivered from any pressing evil, or to obtain some hoped-for good.”St. francis of assissi
In the story above, I was way too anxious about my future, and thought too often about how things were going to play out in my life. My desires were unregulated, and the good that I was hoping for (a secure future) was, and still is, uncertain. The only thing in life that is certain, is the moment I am living in.
A Song: “How Does a Moment Last Forever”
Recorded back in 2017